I hate you, you fucking-good-for-nothing-lame-ass-douchebag flu! I fucking hate you!
I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!
You've made all food taste like shit!
You've made my apartment a fucking mess!
And you've already made me miss one practice session.
I swear if you make me miss any more, I will personally hunt you ass down, and shove my phone so far up it that when I call my own number (which I will do numerous times), it will make you want to tinkle every time I the vibration features goes off.
You got that?
Punk ass bitch.